As I grow older and gain more experience, I realize that negativity and problem orientation are the attitudes I most quickly detect and avoid in a teammate, regardless of the team’s structure (hierarchical, functional, project-based, community, etc.).
The level of collective effectiveness far surpasses the mere numerical effect, so I will always prefer a small, agile team with a high level of practical intelligence, common sense, optimism, and determination over a large team that is prone to monotonous complaining and constant rehashing of problems.
One of the best decisions I’ve made in recent years was to part ways with a collaborator who was considered “major” within the organization but who dragged the team down with their remarks and questions, always revolving around their personal anxieties. Their departure not only unleashed the team’s creative thirst and risk-taking but also eliminated the cloud of problems that always hovered over us. We all thought that this departure would burden our respective agendas and be hard to compensate for. The opposite happened: we won twice—first by getting rid of the permanent black cloud and second by quickly and significantly improving our collective productivity. The one who always blocked progress, who was a constant source of contention, and who had a permanent aversion to any risk had found other occupations. We gained the ability to work together and could, moreover, reinvest their significant salary in new directions.
Result: A general sense of relief, the release of energy, and the most fruitful separation possible!
My experience leads me to identify three factors that are particularly limiting in a colleague within a working team:
Among these three very limiting factors, problem orientation seems to me the most harmful to the team. This devastating mindset wakes up early in the morning when the person opens their shutters or draws their curtains: “What terrible weather! It’s Monday again, can’t wait for Friday.” But what can we do about bad weather? And about a Monday? Absolutely nothing, of course. So why lament over facts or events that we have no control over? Why not consider the benefits of rain or cloudy weather as a guarantee of freshness, or a Monday as a day to approach with all the benefits of a good, regenerative weekend?
Similarly, who among us hasn’t prepared well for a meeting, approached it with enthusiasm, only to have it ruined by a negative spirit who rehashes a litany of problems and their inability to act or propose solutions. You probably didn’t have enough of your own topics to deal with, so someone else had to pile on theirs, which they’ve already mentioned multiple times in this collective meeting format.
As I used to do when I was a manager at Orange, I always ask a teammate who comes to me with a problem if they’ve thought of one or more solutions to resolve it. If not, I suggest they think it over and come back later if I can be of any help.
Like me, you probably also have in mind that upcoming client or team trip and that colleague who lists their minor logistical, personal, and mood issues. If I specify “minor,” it’s because if they were major, of course, our collective attention would be appropriate, caring, and engaged. But for the rest, these issues reflect a level of selfishness and self-centeredness in the complainer that is hard to bear. This logistical example is a good test.
This person likely often tends to notice problems and complain, eventually turning to bitterness and eternal rehashing over the years. “I complain, therefore I am.”
This malady has a propagation capacity that can prove fatal for a team.
And since transparency inherently includes a dimension of virtue, why should I hide it? How many times have I heard this comment during my client support sessions from a team member: “I warn you, I’m ‘direct,’ I say things as I think them, as they come to me, and… I don’t care about the consequences.” Great!…
I believe all this boils down to respect. When I arrive late to a morning team meeting, even though it would never happen if I were picking up a child or going to a job interview, it is undoubtedly a matter of respect… for others. You’ll also notice that instances of tardiness are generally proportional to the proximity of one’s home.
As for the “direct” teammate, you can easily grasp the instant relief they might feel from unloading their grievances, but they probably underestimate the collateral damage they cause by doing so. Words can be weapons of mass destruction, and their violence is formidable. So no, the “direct” colleague isn’t cool at all. I didn’t choose a role or job to endure the violence of my colleagues, even if they are “sincere” or “authentic.” Indeed, one can be sincere and authentic, in a word, say everything, and do so without violence. No wonder that NVC (Non-Violent Communication) is a must in corporate training nowadays.
By Luc Bretones, via Forbes
